Something that I’ve been thinking about a lot is the nature of Authority. Where it comes from. Why some people have their authority respected, and why others don’t. The topic came up through the lens of looking at my interactions as the Alumni Advisor for my fraternity. Comparing myself, my predecessor, and others that I know which hold the same position. What makes one successful? What causes one group to respect one leader, and ignore another?
The first thing which really came to mind is the derivation of authority… how is your relationship with your subordinates? How was it built? What are you telling them to do? Looking at my predecessor, he came into the role not as a part of the group organically, but was more or less assigned as an experienced advisor from the outside. He came into this authority by means of being appointed by 1. someone of higher authority (The Regent) and 2. His own experience and knowledge. He was extremely knowledgeable and connected with the broader community. When he provided direction it was respected because he’d been there, he’d seen that before, he’d known someone who’d had the same problem. His experience is why he was respected.
Let’s contrast that with another advisor from a different chapter. I’ve met him only once or twice, however I’d heard of him years before we had the chance to meet (I’m still not completely sure we were actually introduced). His reputation absolutely preceded him. From people who didn’t even deal with him on a day to day basis, I’d heard of him. That’s how strong his reputation traveled. It’s hard to imagine something like that even happening to me, though I may have that happen to me professionally and I’m sure at my last company I had a reputation of being a bit stuck up in regards to at least certain things. His reputation was of someone who was overbearing, out of touch. It was difficult to think of someone who could wield authority worse. Because his Authority was derived not through experience, he has to wield his authority through brow-beating actives into doing what they’re supposed to.
It’s to the point where things that are a part of the day to day basis of the operations of a fraternity are hidden from him, because they’re not part of the official narrative. One of the things that I constantly say with my chapter is that they should ‘Lie to me’ about some of the off the record things which go on. Just like any college organization there are off the record things which go on, but to brow beat them from existence because they’re not part of the on the record narrative is just going to alienate students. To be clear, there are things which I have absolutely zero tolerance for (Sexual Assault being the top of that list), but other things (Alcohol, recreational marijuana use) I can turn a blind eye to, as I accept that they’re a part of the collegiate experience in 2018.
That leads me to examining how I derive my authority. One of the things that I talk about, when I discuss how I interact with my chapter is that I don’t wield power, I wield influence. I’m not connected or knowledgeable enough to derive my authority from experience, as I was really only active for a short amount of time, and my involvement with the alumni organization is relatively limited in scope. I feel very strongly that there are certain parts of the college of experience that I don’t need to be involved in (I also accept that I couldn’t stop them even if I tried). I made the decision that when I started to be involved as an alumnus I’m not going to be overbearing like ours were. I am going to advise, guide, not sit on a hill and write directives. It would be a collaborative experience and we would work together to solve problems. I don’t always have the answers, but I always try hard to find them.
The other thing that I focus on is relationship building. I spend time getting to know the guys, talking about our common interests. I’m not able to connect with everyone, but even those I don’t have a ton in common with know that when they see me, I’m going to welcome them with open arms and we can have a good conversation. Not about what they’ve done wrong, but about what they’re passionate about, and what they want to do.
I guess I could say that I derive my authority from relationships. There have been times when I’ve had to lay down the law to prevent them from doing something which in the long run would be detrimental, but most of the time my goal is really to get them to stop, and be thoughtful about what they’re doing. If you look to our organizations principals, your own morals, and just sit down and think about it, you’ll know what you should do. Figuring out how to do it, is sometimes a different struggle, and one that I take on on a collaborative basis.
Friendship, Justice, Character and Education. These are the four pillars of our organization. If you’re doing something, and it doesn’t fit into one of those buckets, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. If you have a question about what you should be doing, look to those four pillars and 99% of the time you’ll have your answer.