So, that last post was intended to be a retrospect of the last year. In some ways, it was. There was one large thing that goverened my life for the end of 2017 into 2018. I feel like I’m finally picking up the pieces. The future doesn’t make me anxious anymore, it doesn’t make me want to avoid everything and stay inside anymore. So I guess I’ve got that going for me. It only took me 16 months to get there.
So let’s talk about 2019. We’re only a few days away, and I’ve already paid the bill for the website for another year, so we might as well do this. First off, I want to work on writing more next year. I guess I say that every year, but having this already set up is probably a good start. It makes a few other things easier as well.
I did a fair amount of journaling this past year. Which was good for me, as it allowed me to be more direct talking about some things than I can be here. It allows me to be more personal. Writing here forces me to focus on staying on topic and staying focused. Renewing the site was actually a good step for me, because it allows me to build on what I’ve previously written.
In 2019 I want to continue my weight loss journey. Back in 2016 and into 2017, I lost a lot of weight. Over 100lbs. Then, after switching jobs and the stress of work and the stress associated with my personal life, I gained just about half of that back. I actually maintained weight for a while without tracking, but when things got super stressful, things just went nuts.
I’ve been back to tracking for a few months now, and things are going well. I’m well on target to be back where I was when I stopped, and I have plans to go even further this time. I’m following the same rules as I did last time, with even more of an emphasis on diet and meal tracking. I’ve also reduced my meat intake. In general I try to only eat meat two days a week, and even then I’m not eating massive amounts of it anymore. I feel better when I don’t eat meat, or only eat lean meat. The last few weeks haven’t been as great for this since I’ve been out of town, and then sick. For the most part I’ve stuck to it. I’ve also increased my focus on getting back on track as soon as possible after being out of town or a holiday. The hope is that if I’m out of town for the weekend I should get back to it the Monday after… Sunday if I can.
My third… I guess I’m calling them resolutions now… Is that I want to continue to learn Guitar. I purchased an acoustic guitar earlier this month. While I would love to get great and play a ton of songs, the purpose was different. I wanted something I can do at home which doesn’t require me to stare at a screen. While I’m taking online lessons, I find myself sitting in my cabin and just kind of playing around quite frequently. I actually have a pretty good callous going on my left pointer finger. The other reason was actually for dexterity purposes. I’ve found the dexterity in my hands has been diminishing, so the focus on using them in a new way is helping to combat them.
My fourth and final resolution is probably going to be the hardest for me, but the most important. I am going to 2018 in 2018. That, unfortunately, includes leaving certain people and relationships there too. If I can start 2019 with a clean slate, and leave those things in the past, I will finally be able to continue the trajectory I was on before certain things happen. It’s not going to be easy, I’m likely going to cause some pain, but at this point I have to do what’s best for me.
I’m not sure how to wrap this up. 2018 has been a year of pain, of growth, and getting back on track. 2019 will be a year of moving on and self improvement. It’s not going to be easy, but as opposed to 2018, it finally looks like it’s possible. I can’t wait to see what this year brings and what things are like when I write this post next year.
A happy and healthy New year to everyone!